Only you will I ever hold
by CoffeespazzumUSA
Summary: Sam starts to get a cold and Dean tells him to fall asleep when Sam has a flashback/dream from when they were younger and Sam remembers how much Dean truly loves him


(I wrote this for a contest on Deviant art, (Xanseciera's to be exact)….And I won it! =D My account is Seekwolf299 if you want to see any of my drawings and poems and such! 3 . If there are any spelling mistakes I am deeeepppllyyy sorry!!! :D Oh and please leave a review! I love them XD. especially nice ones lol )

Sam's head was leaned against the impala window as the radio was loudly playing "Brown eyed girl." And of course, on top of the radio, Dean was also loudly singing along with the song.

Sam's head eventually started to pound. He closed his eyes and sighed. But sighed in such a way that any other person would not notice, but his big brother always did.

Dean reached over and turned down the radio. "Sammy whats going on" he asked in a slight demanding tone.

"Nothing I'm fine" Sam quickly answered. Dean sighed and looked over to Sam, knowing that he was lying once again. Sam's cheeks were a blushed red, and his head started to bead with drops of salty sweat.

"Yeah well you don't look so good" Dean worried a slight bit and Sam glanced at him

"Maybe that's because we just hunted a pack of vampires" he said sarcastically that made Dean's eyes roll.

"Sam you look like crap. So ill leave the radio off for awhile so try to get some sleep"

"You'll just turn it when you get bored" Sam groaned

"Yeah so get some sleep Sammy-boy"

Sam sighed and tried to get comfortable. From sleeping in the impala all the time Sam knew the best sleeping positions that wouldn't hurt his neck at all. So once he found a comfortable position he closed his eyes once more and tried to sleep.

He listened to the sweet roaring sound the impala made. It drifted him to sleep every time…

*A dream that was reality*

Sam blinked a few times before the fuzzy image became clear. It was motel room, that was for sure.

"_This room…it seems so… familiar…" _Sam began to walk the room. Taking in the surroundings, trying to pin point where he knows it from.

"Dean?"

Sam stopped short. The voice was a squeaky and weak. But also seemed so familiar.

"I'm right here" an older voice answered.

Sam knew who that voice belonged too. He quickly walked into the small room with the two queen beds and found himself starting at…a younger him.

Sam's eyes grew wide as he was looking at his own self. He guessed he was about eight or nine.

"Sammy lay down" Dean lightly pushed the younger Sam down.

_They obviously can't see me. _

"But Dean I'm not tired" The young Sam protested.

"You're as sick as a dog Sam! You need to rest. And I promised Dad that you would be asleep before he got back"

Sam's glossy eyes looked up into Dean's, trying to study him. Dean got off the bed and went to the bathroom. Both the younger and older Sam watched.

_I think I remember this… Dean comes back with medicine_

And thus, Dean walked back out with a cup of water and Tylenol. "Take this. It will make the fever go down"

"I don't have a fever" Sam protested,

_You will soon Sam…_

"You will soon Sam" Dean placed the Tylenol in Sam's hand.

"How do you know?" Sam asked

"Because I _know _you Sam"

"But I don't know you yet…" Sam looked down in sadness and a smile threatened to brake from Dean's lips.

"Let's keep it that way" Dean chuckled, "Now take the medicine"

Sam obeyed his older brother and swallowed the pill with the water.

"Can I stay up with you?" Sam asked,

"No" Dean snapped back. Sam's glossy eyes started to water as he glared at his brother with two big brown eyes. And Dean couldn't resist that kicked puppy face. "You can't stay up with me but I'll sleep next to you if you want"

Sam's lightened up and the tears flew away.

"Get comfortable" Dean lifted the sheets more so Sam could crawl under and once he did, Dean went under with him. "If you tell anyone I slept in the same bed as you I'll kill you, got that?" Dean threaded and Sam nodded.

_I was laughing inside _Sam remembered.

Dean propped the pillows in a position that he could prop himself up in. He placed his hands behind his head and closed his eyes, trying to fall asleep himself.

About ten minutes of silence passed before little Sammy spoke again, "Dean" he said in a soft tone.

"Yeah?" Dean asked calmly back,

"I'm so c-cold…" Sam shivered under the blankets.

Before even thinking about it, Dean crawled even more under the covers and reached his arm around Sam, pulling him into his body, and held him close.

"Any better Sammy?"

Sam buried his muffled head into Dean's warm chest and smiled, "Lots" he answered.

It only took another five minutes for little Sammy to fall into a deep sleep.

_I forgot about him doing that…_ Sam walked around the bed so his younger self's back was facing him and saw that Dean's eyes were still opened. His green eyes stared at Sam for the longest time. And he never looked away. He never fell asleep.

_He watched me…_

Dean then placed his hand on Sam's muffled hair and started to stoke it.

"Everything is going to be okay Sammy…" he whispered, "You'll be fine"

And now that Sam was older, he knew exactly why Dean said those words. He wasn't saying them to Sam, but was saying them for himself. He was worried about Sam, and was encouraging himself that his little brother was going to be okay.

Sam smiled. _He really does care about me…but haven't I known that all along? I mean he should care about me I'm his brother! But…there is so much more of a bond between us…_

Sam then felt an unnatural feeling on his forehead, _what the hell, _His head became warmer. It felt like someone's hand…

"_Sam" _Dean's voice echoed

_Whats going on?_"Sam!"

Dean jerked Sam awake.

"Woa, what?" Sam looked around. His head spun as he moved to fast, whats going on?"

"Dude, your head is burning"

"Is it really?" Sam asked as his eyes adjusted.

"Yeah. Come on I already got a room, you should get some sleep in an actual bed" Dean then got out of the impala and Sam noticed they were at a motel.

Sam got out solely because he didn't want his head to spin again and Dean grabbed both his and Sam's duffle bags.

"Don't fall Sam" Dean warned,

"Hardy, har, har" Sam rolled his eyes and Dean laughed.

Sam yawned as Dean opened the door to their room. Sam flicked on a light as looked around. One dresser, two beds, one desk, two chairs, a TV, and a bathroom… _Yep, one normal motel room! _

Dean threw the bags onto one of the beds and plopped down onto the bed himself.

Sam took his coat off, and once he did. Goosebumps popped up throughout his body, making him shiver.

"Cold?" Asked Dean,

"It's the fever…" Sam answered,

"I told you there was something wrong, I'm always right"

Sam didn't want to protest because he felt to God awful at the moment to care. He kicked off his pants and shoes then climbed into the bed opposite of Dean. Even when he got comfortable, he still shivered.

Dean flicked on the TV. Sam closed his eyes and waited…

_Why hasn't he gotten any medicine for me yet? _Sam wondered and he was starting to get inpatient. That wasn't like Sam, but this bothered him extremely.

"Dean" Sam's voice cracked

"Yeah?"

"You got any meds?"

Dean thought about it, "Oh yeah!" he laughed and took a box out of his pocket, "I went to the drug store before coming here. You were out like a light man" Dean got up and grabbed a water bottle from one of the duffle bags and handed both of it to Sam, "Here ya go Sammy"

"Thanks Dean…"

"No problem…" Dean watched Sam open the box and take the meds. _There's something else bothering him…_ Sam crawled back into the covers, but rolled over so his back was facing Dean. _Whats wrong Sam? This isn't like you…_

_Why hasten he asked yet? _Sam took a few big breaths as tears threatened to fall from his eyes and streak his cheeks. _I need you Dean… _Sam shivered.

"Hay Sammy-

"Dean I'm so cold…"

"I know…"

Sam felt the dip of the bed as Dean crawled in next to him. A small smile graced Sam's lips as Dean's arm wrapped around him. "Tell anybody I did this and-

"You'll kill me, I know" Sam grinned.

"Yeah… you'll be okay Sammy"

_You've never changed have you Dean? _

_You know me well Sam…_Dean smiled.

Sam and Dean both fell asleep in a matter of minutes. And for some reason, they both felt as safe as they ever had. When Dean held Sam. Dean knew Sam would be safe, and that brought divine peace to him. And Sam knew that when Dean was holding him he would be safe because Dean would do anything for Sam, and Sam would for Dean.

They were brothers,

They were each others blood,

And no one could change that. Not even the poisoning of Ruby's demonic blood that pumped through Sam. Because one day, Dean knew, that the demon blood would eventually wash away. Deep down, under all the black, all the grief and all the regret, was a bright child with big brown eyes that just wanted to be held. And the only person that was going to hold him? His older brother of course.

_I love you Dean_

_Love ya Sammy _


End file.
